America's Tight
by DogSharkHahFuckYouAlex
Summary: This story is complete CRACK. Yaoi involved. M for Yaoi and Language. This is what happens when you're up and two in the morning with your friend and Fig Newtons and thinking about Hetalia..


**LOL OKAY.**

**THIS IS COMPLETE CRACK SO **_**BEWARE**_**.**

**PAIRINGS ARE TO BE ****EVERYTHING IN EXISTENCE****.**

**ALEX AND I ARE ON SPRINKLES AND ICE CREAM AND FIIIIIG NEWTONS AND ARE HERE TO DELIVER YOU SOME **_**SHIT.**_

**RATED **_**M**_** FOR JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING ****POSSIBLE.**

**IF YOU ARE OFFENDED FUCK OFF CAUSE YOU HAVE **_**BEEN WARNED**_**.**

**DON'T LIKE YAOI?****  
WELL YOU SHOULDN'T BE WATCHING HETALIA THEN**_** BIZNITCH**_**.**

**AMERICA'S TIGHT…**

So our story begins with Alfred FUCKING Jones strutting his tight ass into the confrence room filled with homosexuals and sex addicts.

"WOOF" Alfred, also known as the United States of FUCKING America, yelled.

"God dammit keep your ho mouth shut and on my cock where it belongs." Arthur The Fucking Magnificant gently commented.

"FINE FUCK, LET ME GET DOWN THERE, MY TIGHT SEXY ASSHOLE WONT LET ME BEND DOWN." Alfred quietly responded.

Alfred then bent down and promptly put his mouth where it belonged and started his expedition down SOUTH.

Everyone in the confrence room suddenly stopped whatever fucking thing they were doing to turn and stare in wonder at the door that flew the FUCK open revealing the SEXY fucking SPAIN in all his SPANISHY SPAIN glory.

"COMO ESTAS FAGGOTS?"

"I WANT TO FUCK YOU"

"France, please go."

After PROMPTLY kicking France the fuck out, cause everyone likes to do things PROMPTLY, he smirked his devilish smirk of doom and walked over to the meeting table where he slid across the table of gloryness, like a fucking sex god smothered in oil.

"Spain, how many times have I told you not to do that? Especially when a certain horny Italian over there is fapping" Arthur pointed out, while still being THOROUGHLY sucked off by the American.

"OH FUCK YES YES YES YES YES GO SPAIN GO SPAIN UHGIUHSDHUU UHHHHHHHH" Romano came tomato juice all over the confrence room.

"Arthur, shut the FUCK up and go drink your EARL GREY. You're just jealous cause I won the world cup." GIGGLED Spain.

"Do we ever get anything accoplished at these meetings?" FUCKING DOITSU THE BUZZKILL sighed.

"NOEP." DERPED Italy.

Then a giggle echoed the halls, a giggle that made you want to puke rainbows and shit unicorns and make sweet love to your grandmother. Said giggle came from none other than that commie bastard RUSSIA, or as others called him, BITCH-ER-I MEAN IVAN. The countries look FRIGHTENED as they searched for the source of this giggle. THEN..

O SHIT..

RUSSIA PIMP STRUTTED IN.

Latvia hung loosely on his DICK and Estonia came SHUFFLING behing him yelling his ANNOYING signature yell:

"LATVIAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Latvia stared impatiantly at Estonia while HANGING BY HIS ASS ON RUSSIA'S GIANT MEAT LOG. "Ya know Estonia?" He started, "I think you should SHUT THE FUCK UP."

Everyone totally fucking ignored what was going on at the door because nobody gives TWO SHITS about Latvia and his RIPPED ANUS.

"Hey, anybody wanna go to my summer home in PENIS COLA?**(1)**" Romano panted, fapping off, for the twenty-seventh time to Spain's sexy body.

"Shut the UCK FUP ROMANO NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS." Italy screetched.

A single tear slipped down Romano's sweaty cheek, and fell to the abyss below, his voice barely above a wisper as he spoke, "…but I care…"

As the meeting ended, Germany began his long journey home. His boots sank DRAMATICLY into the mud as the rain drenched his hot man abbs, because of course, he wasn't wearing a shirt…I mean..what person in their right mind would wear a shirt WITH THOSE ABBS?

Then..

BAM

OUT OF FUCKING NO WHERE, PRUSSIA WALTZED IN AND STARTED DRY FUCKING THE POOR GERMAN.

"Sorry West, your sex appeal was too much to handle, but now I must be going, Mattie is in my house without clothes and has fucking MAPLE SYRUP. Sorry man, but not even YOU could distract me fro-" Before he could finish his LONG ASS story, his FIVE METERS pimp slapped a HOLE right through Germany's ass.

FUCK THAT THING IS HUGE.

I MEAN, COME THE FUCK ON? FIVE METERS? JESUS H CHRIST WTF.

I WOULDN'T WANT THAT NEAR ME.

"Oh golly gee gosh that kind of stings" Germany PUSSILY said.

Just as Prussia was about to put his GIANT BEEF SLAB back in his pants, he was interrupted by Matthew calling his name.

The sound was somewhere between a moose giving birth, and a beaver shitting maple syrup.

"Gee willikers, I must be on my way…" Prussia began, "See ya later WESSSSST. Hope that heals up nicely :D" Yes, he actually SPOKE a happy face.

Germany got up and brushed the JIZZ off of his pants, cause he was so fucking EXCITED by Prussia, he managed to DRENCH HIMSELF IN HIS OWN CUM, and headed off home, before he was interrupted, AGAIN, by-

"OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCKKKK"

**To Be Continued…**

**Maybe…**

**If we feel like it.**

**(1) Peniscola: an ACUTAL town in spain, LOOK IT UP DOG. We just couldnt find the squiggly line over the N.**

**Alex: Well, whoa nelly, I DID ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOTHING EXCEPT LOOM OVER HEATHER'S SHOULDER AND CORRECT HER AND WHISPER IDEAS AND FEED HER NEWTONS.**

**Heather: ANOTHER NEWTON MY COMMONER. **

**Alex: IMMA FUCK YOU UP. BUT HERE.**

**Heather: *Drowns in NEWTON juice* GKNDSLJNNNGGGGG**

**Alex: REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED**

**IF YOU REVIEW I'LL CONTINUE TO SHOVE FIG NEWTONS DOWN HER THROAT, LIKE I DID JUST NOW.**

**I THINK SHE'S DYING ACTUALLY, I DON'T THINK SHE SUPPOSED TO MAKE THAT NOISE.**

**Heather: GKNNNNNGMGGGGGGGKKKKGFDKGNNNN **

**Alex: UwU**

**Heather: *cough choke* GIVE…US..IDEAS…*cough***

**BYE-NIIII**


End file.
